Saturday, July 7

Mars, Day 2

The second Marathon Mars Day Started at 9am.

Or so I remember. It could have been 8am or 9:30 or 6am too. Whatever time corresponds to "neigh-unbearable tent heat" was when the day started. Couldn't have been more than 5.5 hours of sleep.

It dawned on me at some point that we had not made any plans for food this morning (last year, I took orders from everyone on the team and went to Dunkin Donuts every morning) and that I was painfully hungry. With the remaining cobwebs inbetween my ears it was difficult to understand what was happening, but JP somehow conned Hibachi 3000's #1 fan into doing that same thing for the team this year. Unbelievable. Coffee and the like would be coming straight to me! I began to understand why everyone last year was so pleased with this development.

I meandered about a little bit in hopes that I could piece together some of the previous night. This was largely unsuccessful. It wasn't a complete blank, but establishing a chronology was impossible. There was a nasty rumor floating around that we had finished something like 25 kegs over the course of the evening, leaving some paltry number near 5 for the coming evening. Not good, but not surprising.

The first game was against Lotus Eaters, 15-5?
They're a motley crew of NYC-area types plus whatever other riff-raff they attracted on a given weekend. Not in a disparaging way, but y'know... they're an odd team that we all know and run into everywhere. I don't remember anything from this game other than being really hungover and then unbelievably thankful that breakfast arrived. Coffee included. Hooray for Coffee, Hooray!!

At this point we regained some semblance of our wits and prepared for our next game.

Delmarvalous, 14-12?
I don't know what the score of this game was at all, other than it was close. There were bigger issues at stake. It was a tight game most of the way, with some little flare-ups of contentiousness, but nothing insane. And then it happened. Julie has the disc. Jamie, ever the faithful facilitator, is lined up as the dump. Jamie jukes and goes up line. Julie fakes a throw to him and he turns upfield to see what he needs to do now...





Jamie's on a heap on the ground after colliding with a defender. Not *his* defender, but a poach defender. The same fella who was later arrested. As I run out onto the field immediately (I know when Jamie's injured and when he's just in a little shock) I'm debating what to do. Do I run out at the guy who slammed into my brother and step on his head, inciting a brawl? Or do I tend to my brother who seems like he may have been shot? I choose to deal with Jamie and be a good older brother to him. Get his breathing slow and steady, ask what is hurting, apply my pretty solid knowledge of sports injuries and first aid and try to get him off of the field to a safe spot where he can take stock of what happened. While doing so, I take note that said player *who CREAMED Jamie on a DISC THAT WASN'T THROWN* stated "What was I supposed to do? I didn't have any time to react to it being a fake instead of a throw."

Exactly, asshole. You put yourself in a position at a fun tournament like Mars to bust a guys rib on a throw that was not put up. Your concern for your opponent and yourself is fucking terrible. Sure, if we're at Regionals battling for a spot at Natties, you might make that bid. Or suspect that we should have better offensive spacing as we would be a team playing together for a while. Instead, you put him out of commission for 4-6 weeks in the most important part of the practice season in a game against a group of alums and friends who rarely play with each other because our spacing was bad. How would the goddamn outcome be different if the disc HAD gone up? You would have broken his rib as he reached to catch the disc instead of breaking his rib when he had a split second to defend himself. There was NO clean play for you to make from the position you put yourself in.

Looking back, I'm not sure I made the right decision. I might feel better about myself as a man and as a brother today if I had decided to punch your fucking face in right there. Sure, we would have marred Mars with a disgustingly ugly brawl (because I know my teammates had my back, and I bet yours would have your back), but I would be able to sleep at night knowing that you understood that play is unacceptable. Instead, I actually asked you if you were okay and remained calm. I even shook your hand after the game instead of hitting you with a chair.

If you had done that one year earlier, you would have had an enemy for life and bruises to prove it. As it is, you had a guy who was cheering your arrest the second he heard of it and whole team who automatically (and erroneously) assumed that you ALSO threw a brick through my teammate's window. This is not how to make friends in the world, ultimate or otherwise. I can only hope that you learn from this as we all learn from the horrible mistakes we make in life. I originally planned to have a (hopefully) calm discussion with you at some point, but by the time I saw you next, you were full of liquid courage and I was still not removed enough from the situation to remain calm. In fact, I still doubt that I can remain calm about this one. Maybe we can talk in a couple of months about how you showed a complete disregard for the safety of your fellow players without coming to blows about it. At least I hope so. Someday...

After getting Jamie off of the field, I subbed in for him and cut my ass off. We ended up winning (this may have even been the last point) on a forehand blade from Julie to me. I don't think I spiked it, but I might have. I'm pretty sure we won by 2 or 3, but I could be wrong there too.

Over the course of the time just after the game, we checked in with our mother (a doctor) for anything that we needed to worry about for Jamie and, essentially, unless he suddenly had a really hard time breathing (which would indicate a collapsed lung) or was in massive pain we had no reason to worry about it. If that was the case, I promised that I would leave at the drop of a hat and let the rest sort itself out.

Makisupa Policeman, beer, ice, shade, heckling.

Banyas University, 15-10?
I think we won this one 15-10. Maybe I'm confusing this score with the Delmarvalous score? Maybe someone should update the Mars results page? Anyway, this game started off as a completed-huck fest. It was pretty wild there for a bit. I also had the WORST PULL EVER in this game. That is, I was working on a huge OI backhand pull to some effect over the course of the weekend and by this time, I'm doing exactly what I don't normally do by releasing from the backhand side of the field and letting it drop back into the field at the last second. Well, the reason that I don't normally do this is because you risk the 0-yard pull. If you pull OI from the flick side of the field, the disc travels over the vast expanse of field in front of you and you guarantee yourself a brick at the worst. As I wind up to launch this big backhand into the wind (which is blowing from backhand to flick), fully expecting it to come back, I trip a little and pull anyway. As soon as I release it, I know. It ain't coming back save for the grace of sudden gale-force winds. Jimmy starts trying to positive-think it back onto the field, whcih I know will be unsuccessful. So sad. As I realize exactly what I've done, I recognize that everyone's favorite 6'5" handler will be tapping the disc in about 5 feet from the endzone. Shoot. That's my guy. Not good times. We're forcing flick, he fakes a little IO flick (By little I mean about 4 feet away from me) that I have to pressure and then goes to the step out/around high release backhand break for a goal. I mean, he might have released that disc ~8 feet off the ground for all I know. I didn't have a chance. I think there was a quality heckle about this exact pull "making the blog" and there was definitely some banter about the blog as the game continued. Specifically some mockery about seeing the whole field. Anyway, we go on to win this game and are positive that we'll end up 9th (one spot out of the A bracket) for tomorrow's play.

After the games, we decide to wait around for food and *then* go to the showers after learning our lesson yesterday. Jamie and I get in line after our team and chat with Tim Johnson for a while. As we walk up to the food, we realize hat for some unknown reason, only one side of the tables is being used for food-grabbing purposes. Thinking we're really smart, we go to the other side to speed up the line, y'know, for everyone. We are immediately met by some Pitt Soldiers in Arms and told to return from whence we came. The people behind us in line are not pleased. We come up with a number of scams to get more food as a result of this perceived unnecessary delay and execute them to varying degrees of success. Me, being the goody goody that I am, devise my plan and chicken out before completion. This was pretty much the same moment that Sean said "I know what you're doing and it's pretty smart, so I'll let you do it." I had the stamp of lefty approval and everything! Still couldn't do it. I guess I'm not a cheater at life after all.

At some point, the brackets were announced and sure enough, we finished ninth. No A-Bracket for us, yet again. Ah well. We never played at Regionals in college either. It seems worth mentioning.

We then go to the showers, get some ice cream at our favorite spot (Which always reminds me of the dairy I grew up a few miles from, though not quite as good) and headed back to the tents with beer ice and more in tow. It was time to break out the Honey Brown, an NYU alum Mars favorite since we started attending as 4 pickups (Me, Julie, Jamie and Elizabeth Lamm) back in 03. As the night continued, we stayed the hell away from the pavilion (for the most part), hung out with friends, played disc golf, drank, debated, listened to stand up, got doused in flammable liquid, boomed, flew and so much more.

Of special note was the arrival at ~3:30am of one Kazan aka Eric aka Kaimana/Fools teammate aka troublemaker in search of some water so that he could brush his teeth and go to bed. We had no water. What we DID have was apple-flavored vodka. (Which, when Josh purchased it, was laughed off as a horrible choice. To which he responded "You just wait.") Sure enough, Kazan took said apple-vodka, used it for tooth-brushing purposes and hung out for another couple of hours. Well-played, sir, well-played.

At something like 4:30 or 5am, I turned in for the night, "all tuckered out" as a feller says. Gametime was in ~5 hours. NIIIIIiiiiice.
Workout Total:
metric ton of ultimate
much rage
many other things that were bad for me


Andy said...

Did that guy really get arrested for throwing a brick into someone's windshield or is that some sort of ultimate metaphor?

dusty.rhodes said...


He did not, as explained here:

I will go back and amend the post-- I don't want any misconceptions.

wix said...

We hunted for Kerbers! had to settle for Dairy Queen :( I blame you, Dusty.

dusty.rhodes said...

Obviously not very good hunters in that splinter group...

The directions of "Drive toward the turnpike. Turn left. If you pass the PA Pike entrance, you've gone too far" have always worked in the past...

That ice cream was good as hell. Sorry you missed out and chose corn syrup land instead.

E Lamm said...

Honey Brown?!?! I remember us drinking Red Dog that year we first attended as 4 pick-ups. I remember because I have a not entirely rational love for Red Dog and was really excited to find it there - I think you and Jamie allowed it because I was so excited about it. Kind of like how I am now about the Simpsons movie. 11 days!! Feel better Jamie.

I would also like to throw in another retro Mars memory here: "No pokey."

gapoole said...

Honey Brown...the first beer I ever enjoyed (but the second one I tasted...the Amber Bock was terrible).

The up-line dump cut definitely is risky when teammates don't make the proper spacing. It has been referred to elsewhere as the "cut of death" and I've been pasted myself running it in summer league. That certainly doesn't excuse this guy, it's illegal and really dick to create a dangerous situation by poaching/bidding when the cutter doesn't see you coming. But it does make me wonder whether this cut will eventually fade out of fashion, because it certainly is a big part of many offenses right now. I hope your brother is/gets well.

dusty.rhodes said...

E: We definitely started with Red Dog and Ice Cream (Again from Kerbers), but I distinctly remember the smooth taste of Honey Brown coming later on (possibly after we pulled a mutiny).

gap: He'll be fine, thanks for the well-wish. I'm just an angry dude. The cut can't entirely fade out of fashion-- it is too tasty an
offensive position to be in. The thing that just sets me off is that THE DISC WAS NEVER THROWN.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to have to do this anonymously, but I have chosen to do so based on your regret of not fighting my teammate (Sean), desire to hit him with a chair, and cheering at his arrest. I don't wish to stir negative sentiments, only to give you a "better perspective" on what happened. I was the guy covering your brother, so I feel my perspective was pretty good.

Sean's defense on this particular play may be considered reckless, but not to the degree you are implying. He never bid, he was running into an area into which he anticipated a possible throw. After he realized the throw was not coming, he tried to slow down, but Jamie kept running full speed, and without looking ahead. I, too, realized the throw was not coming long before Jamie did. In fact, the thrower turned away from Jamie and dumped it to Sean's guy 10 yards away from the collision, and at almost the same time. For him to get that open behind the disc testifies to the degree to which Sean had slowed down.

Jamie's injury is definitely unfortunate, and from the sound of it, quite painful. But that doesn't give you the right to trash talk my teammate for an honest and in no way intentionally reckless defensive effort.

Sean just finished his second year playing for a Nationals caliber college team and is now playing with Truck Stop. He gives 100% on the field all the time. I don't think it's fair to assume he should ease up at a tournament like MARS just because you guys don't play with each other very often.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I sincerely believe that you saw Sean's attempt as dangerous, but I hope to convince you otherwise. As far as his arrest, he's an idiot, he knows that. But that's not relevant to this incident at all. He will likely be one of the most dominant players in the Metro East next year, and I would hate to see his name get smeared for something such as this.

I hope Jamie recovers well. And for the record, you scored the last point on me, and I'm pretty sure you didn't spike it.

dusty.rhodes said...

Okay, look, here goes. As I tried not to take yours the wrong way, please do the same with these comments.

1. Sign your fucking name. What do you have to lose?
2. I sincerely appreciate your desire to give a better perspective. Despite whatever else comes of this comment, trust me on that. It is through discourse that we learn.
3. I don't what you're attempting to prove in your second paragraph. If you want to quibble over the degree of recklessness, well, sure, but that seems pointless. You pretty much state the same things that I did. Sean made a reckless play by running into an area where he incorrectly anticipated a throw, was then unable to slow down enough to avoid a significant collision that endangered no fewer than 3 players (including at least one who could not see him coming) while the thrower made a good decision and threw to the poached offensive player. In the meantime, you saw the play coming and were powerless to stop it. Great. That leaves us all in the same place we were before. He made an illegal, reckless play that resulted in the injury of player via a blindsided hit on a throw that didn't even go to that area of the field. You can't even make that play in the NFL without a flag. Ask Donovan Darius.
4. I never questioned his honesty or his intent. I didn't ever think, imply or state that he misrepresented himself OR that he tried to do anything other than make a play on the disc.
5. Let me lay something on you about *my* blog: I can write whatever I want. That's the whole point. On this blog, I represent *no one* but myself and take full responsibility for everything I write. Maybe this post about my feelings and thoughts was not the prudent or mature thing thing to do, but I certainly have the right to do it.
6. Great. Sean plays for a Nationals level college team. I never got to Regionals. Great. He plays for Truck Stop. I play for Pike. I'm sure he doesn't actually give 100% on the field at all times, but I'll excuse your exaggeration because I follow your meaning and I like to think of myself in the same way. As for the assertion that he should "ease up at a tournament like Mars because you guys don't play with each other very often," well you're missing the biggger picture here. He should ease up at a tournament like Mars simply because it is a tournament like Mars. This is the same dumb issue with Something Epoch. They argued that Younguns were using ineligible players. Who gives a fuck? Are you afraid that this loss will go on your permanent record? That someone, somewhere will think less of you? Too late for that, both Sean and S.E. already guaranteed that the outside opinion of them is that they're reckless and petty, respectively.
7. You "sincerely believe that [I] saw Sean's attempt as dangerous?" Don't shit on my face and expect me to thank you, asshole. If a play results in both sidelines *audibly* gasping, as multiple players collapse on the field, one player screams like he's been shot and at least one player wants to fight, you have made a dangerous play. It is inconfuckingceivable that you would think otherwise. I don't even know how to respond to the notion that it was not a dangerous play except to wonder if you understand the meaning of the word dangerous (this should help clarify:
8. I agree about the arrest. It is completely and absolutely irrelevant to this incident. However, it is also irrelevant to his ability to "be one of the most dominant players in the Metro East next year." What it is relevant to is my opinion of him as a player and a person at this point in his playing career and life. Think about it-- he didn't exactly paint a flattering picture of himself over the course of the weekend, did he? Maybe my opinions are wrong, but these are the only interactions I've had with him. Ever. It is all I have to go on.
9. His name isn't getting smeared here. I haven't bent the truth or described an incident that didn't occur. I described the occurrence from my perspective and painted a picture of my feelings at the time and afterward. If you (or anyone else) feels that I have been factually inaccurate, I will happily fix it. This whole rant likely illustrates my own immaturity as much as it does anything else.
10. Look back over your post. You continually state that his intent was not to injure or cause a collision. I don't give a fuck what his intent was. With or without intent, his actions WERE reckless and endangered someone I care deeply about as a brother, a teammate and a great friend. If you don't understand where my anger comes from, perhaps you don't grasp what it is like to care that deeply, or perhaps you've just never been pushed far enough to feel it.
11. Thanks for the well-wishes for Jamie. He is taking it much better than me. That speaks volumes about both his good nature and my position as overprotective older brother.
12. I hope Sean becomes a great player. The more people we have playing the sport at a high level, the better the sport becomes. I hope that we get to play against each other and battle it out on the field. I hope that he continues to give everything he's got on the field. I would expect nothing less.
13. My biggest question is "What would have happened if that disc went up?" I maintain that it could not have been a clean play with or without the disc being thrown. This, to me, implies that Sean should not have been anywhere near that spot on the field as it could ONLY result in a dangerous situation whether or not an actual injury occurred. That is the most upsetting part when combined with the his sheepish response of [paraphrasing] "What was I supposed to do?"
14. Disclaimer: Don't assume that I speak for Jamie or any of my teammates from Hibachi 3000. If you (or anyone else) have issues with what I write, don't think ill of them. Only think ill of me. Please.

bailey said...

i always think ill of you, dusty. really.

wish jamie well for me and i'll see you at some tournament soon.


wix said...

don't feel special or anything, dusty, bailey thinks ill of everyone. what an asshole.

see you both at the next meeting of the I Hate People Club.


dusty.rhodes said...

"Why... Bailey, are we cross?"

"What an ugly thing to say. I abhor ugliness. Does this mean we're not friends anymore? You know... if I thought you weren't my friend, I just don't think I could bear it."


JP said...

this is the most commented blog post of all time.

probably cause that guy was an asshole.

i'll be your huckleberry

gapoole said...

So when are you going to get back to current events? You have readers to appease! I'm guessing that Billy is just itching for an update.