Thursday, April 5

Fools Three

The carnage continues...

[Quick Aside: I need the Fools pictures to be up so that I can look back and try to remember who I played.]

Fortunately, we had a first round bye.
Unfortunately, we had a first round bye.

Wow. That was a late night. And now we have to play the one seed? Cool. The game was scheduled to start at 11am. I definitely rolled up at ~11:10 and the game had not yet started. I sat down, put my cleats on, threw for a couple of minutes (I think it was at this point that evel Keven wandered over and bladed our disc into a group of people, but that may have been the day before) and then we cheered something.

After the other team took half, I asked both what the score was and who this team is. "5-2" and "I think they're Truck Stop Guys and they have women, too" were, apparently, the respective answers. I couldn't figure out for the life of me why they had taken half at 5. Someone finally informed me that we were playing to 9. Shit. Nine? I wouldn't have hucked those two early ones to nobody if I had known that. Well, that's not entirely true. I might have thought about the throws for an extra split-second though. I'm pretty sure it was a Maryland plus something team.I just can't recall right now.

After a rousing halftime speech consisting mostly of variations on the theme of "C'mon, this game is only to 9. We should just win it for spite!" we came out to start the half pulling and down 2-5. I decide that I should only play offense during the run we're about to make because we have athletic guys who play together (Read: Amp plus Tim Johnson) for D while we can run a couple of Pike guys on O while the women seem to have figured something out. I don't ask what. This is another in the long list of reasons why I would be a bad coed player. Perhaps I'll touch on my abominable abilities in coed later.

I believe I play one (possibly two) O points for the rest of the game and I think I'm in for a D point as well because no one else wants to play. I'm 95% sure we didn't get broken on O, and I'm 100% sure that if I was in for D, we got scored on. In any case, we go on a big run to win this one. Something like 7-2 for a final score of 9-7? 10-8? I don't know. It was pretty exciting for Fools Fest.

After we celebrate our win and appropriately award our Green Jacket (which had been a running gag for the weekend), we discovered that we'd be playing a rematch versus those damn Cornell kids. I believe we were again exhorted to win this game because it would be short regardless. I know we cheered "Safety School" in true Tight Ass Country Club fashion. At this point, Bailey and I have determined that we'll only be playing offense for the rest of the day. The rest of the team seems really fired up for defense. We never stayed on for more than two points, and they were usually pretty quick points. This "strategy" really took advantage of our huge roster of people who wanted to get Ds and our relatively smaller roster of people who didn't really care for that sort of thing.

I remember playing alright in this one, Batten scored on me once and skied me (but somehow subsequently lost his grip on the disc, which led to people congratulating me on getting a D) once. To be fair, he cut to the back of the endzone when he scored on me and I didn't really want to run that far, so why not let him waste his energy? I think this is the game where I got a nice D deep, only to land on my injured ankle and let go of the disc on first ground contact... which led to the guy I just got a D on catching a goal. That wasn't so good. I mean, shit, if I'm going to run all the way down there, I could at least be smart enough to get the damn D.

I recall them being up for a little bit (maybe taking half?) but in the second half, our massive sideline helped out again because we could maintain quality deep into the playing half of our team. The other half of our team was spectating while either drinking or hangover-ing. I was pretty sure we'd win this one, and we did. I think it was a 2 or 3 point win.

Then we were matched up against Saper Family Reunion in the Finals, also to 9. Except that some idiot on my team decided to play to 11. I lobbied to forfeit the final for spite, but that went over like a lead balloon: Many looks of horror and a couple of sick bastards laughing. There were apparently people excited about playing this one because the notion of winning the spirit award and the tournament seemed to appeal to our team as a whole.

I guess we should go all out then.

We continued the platoon ploy of O/D splits, but there was definitely some crossover. I think I played a couple D points here and there and I think Bailey did as well. I know all of the D guys played O at some point. We took an early lead, mostly on Bailey throwing hucks late in the stall count but Saper wouldn't quit with the younger MacArthur working hard and a couple of other fellas I recognize but am failing to put names to (See earlier plea for pictures). We were tied at 5-5 and somehow let them score. This is bad. You gotta take that point to half!

Coming out of half, they definitely scored first (and possibly second). We then started a little run of our own which definitely included an unexpected play on my part. As they were working it up the field, I found that my guy was mostly handling, but would go downfield if he had the chance. As the disc moved up the open side, I got the chance to see Tim Johnson make a ridiculous bid that ended with a tipped disc that the defender focused on and caught. As Tim starts the stall count, I figure that I'm going to bait a simple dump throw from a cutter who was just rattled by nearly getting D-ed by a rather large man in very tight pants. As he turns to throw the dump and I see that my man isn't moving, I know I've got him. He throws, I layout, I get the D. I sprint to the endzone and someone hucks me the goal. Minor spikage follows.

I guess that's why people play defense?

A couple of points later came the most incredible play of the weekend. The Tight Ass O had turned it over, but was holding down the fort on D. A number of dump-swing iterations occurred as the downfield cutters were blanketed. The disc stopped on the flick side of the field with one of their men. Bailey's lined up covering the dump. The thrower looks downfield for 5 seconds or so and then commits to the dump. Bailey guesses right on the jukes and as the thrower is running out of time, he throws over the dump's head to the big open space behind them. Both players track the disc as the wind picks up a little and increases the flight distance and time. While the disc carries ~25 yards, it is clear that Bailey has the inside position, but the disc is arcing so wide that the line he has chosen seems completely ludicrous. Just before the disc seems catchable, Bailey and the O player both bid. The disc is clearly caught... but... not by the dump! It is in Bailey's hand! "Bailey stole the disc!" As they come crashing down in a heap, it becomes apparent that they're about 3 inches deep in the endzone. As they sit up, Bailey tosses the disc aside and falls down. Uh-oh.

As we rush over, it is clearly a textbook concussion. He fell, his head snapped to the ground, and whatever grey matter he developed at Princeton was smashed against his skull. Ouchy. He didn't remember making a play, many of his teammates, what had happened in the earlier games, or a number of other things over the weekend. The important stuff he had down. He remembered people he had known for longer than a couple days and all that big-picture stuff. A doctor on our team was nice enough to check him out while we finished the game out.

The following D point was pretty uneventful, so far as I know. The next O point was me hucking a huge blade to Frentzel in the endzone (At least I think that's where this play fits. I could be wrong, but that happened in the second half of this game). The next D point was them scoring again to maintain the 1 point lead as the 2 point cap had already been reached. On the next O point, we turned it over, and I don't know how. What followed was a long tenure on D where I tipped a throw on the mark from MacArthur that was caught, and almost got a layout D on him, but the thrower put that disc *exactly* where it needed to be to lead him into an immediate give-go he got cleaned out on an up-line "go" by a downfield defender, but held onto the disc for a goal. The "Cut of Death" returns.

Saper wins, Country Club loses. Country Club looks tight, Saper looks dull. All in all a good run. 2-1 every day for a 6-3 record and a runner-up finish. It turns out that Caner was playing with Saper, not the other team we played. Glad we cleared that up. In fact, he was the guy Bailey was defending on the "Concussahan."

So long as the team costumes uphold a certain level of decor, I'll play with this group next year.

For the ride home, we had the pleasure of Kazan's company as we took Bailey to the Mary Washington Hospital (which we missed at least once) and waited for his CAT scan results. It added about 2 hours to the trip, most of which was spent sleeping in uncomfortable hospital chairs. Not that we could really complain, because I'd sure as hell want someone to wait for me if I was concussed. Turns out he was gonna be fine, but he definitely had a concussion (shocker) and that someone (read: Amy) would be waking him up every 2 hours or something for a while.

I ended up driving back to Jersey with a stop on the way. Completely uneventful trip other than Bailey starting to remember more things, which was good. I tell you, no matter how many times I make this drive (at least twice each way every year) I can never remember what I'm supposed to do near DC/Baltimore when 95 turns into no fewer than 6 different incarnations. Constantly Flummoxed am I.

That's all I've got for now. If I ever see some pics form this tournament, I might go back and edit these posts to include links, or just add another entry with some descriptions. Otherwise,

Three tournaments in the book:
Kaimana: 2/17-19
Maui No Ka Oi: 2/24-25
Fools Fest: 3/30-4/1

Confirmed Future Dates:
Beth Coltman Memorial: 4/21-22
Pike Invite: 5/12-13
Live Logic: 6/2-3
Boston Invite: 6/23-24

Possible Future Dates:
Bell Crack: 5/19-20
Poultry Days: 6/9-10
Ommegang: 6/16-17

July is too far away to consider.

Workout Total:
17 min Interval
12 min Core
10 min Ankle Rehab (plus constant purposeful motion during the day)


Andy said...

I think the Fool's posts are your best yet. I can't wait until Ultimate is a sport people watch on TV and you're the pre and post game analyst.

Of course, by then you may just be a floating brain in a jar...and hopefully by then I will have a bionic shoulder. (Doc's appt. on the 23rd though, hooray!)

dusty.rhodes said...

You should be careful. If you encourage drivel like this, there will only be more of it to not read.

You *still* haven't had the shoulder taken care of? Ultimate players are so dumb. I'm included, of course.

If someone would interview me after games, or hire me for a studio show about *nearly* any sport, let alone ultimate, I'd jump at it.

If you're a crazy person in life, you're just a crazy person. If you're a crazy person on TV, you're a celebrity. I think I'd buy some Ray Lewis mink coats and Michael Irvin suits to jack up my sartorial splendor as well.

PETA and like-minded acolytes: I don't condone real fur coats, nor real green dresses. The Barenaked Ladies tell me that both style choices are cruel. The BNL are Canadian, so I must believe them.